A discussion on love
1:15:00 PMHappy Valentine's day! I hope you all have a day filled with nothing but love, happiness and this type of mood: To be honest, I fi...
Happy Valentine's day! I hope you all have a day filled with nothing but love, happiness and this type of mood:
To be honest, I find love to be one of the hardest emotions to describe. It has a different meaning for each one of us, and I think that's what makes it even more beautiful. Even before today, the word has been on my mind lately. I guess it might be due to the fact that I've been listening to lots of smooth and slow 90s r&b songs haha? I've recently started writing in my journal again and today, I just scribbled some words that I thought related to the term, so I'm going to properly organize my thoughts on this blogpost.
Tough-love:
By definition(yes, I went on wikipedia for this), tough love signifies the promotion of a person's welfare by enforcing certain constraints on them or requiring them to take responsibility for their actions. I come from a place where tough-love is instilled in our culture. Looking back on it, I now realize that I was (and still am) surrounded by some of the strongest women, notably my mother, aunts and grandmothers as well as other non-maternal figures who also seem to have had this "tough" love upbringing. My family and closest friends always showed this type of love towards me, and even though at the time I hated it, I now understand and am extremely grateful to them for doing that. I think it's helped shape me into the resilient and intuitive woman I am today. But here's the thing, I am well aware that this type of love doesn't work for everyone. I guess it was fine with me because I'm the oldest of my siblings so I always had to "endure" and be the setting example.
Friendships:
I think after our relationships with our families, the ones with our friends are the most important. I find it crazy how being around certain people can affect who you are and the things you do. I've also noticed that as time goes by, you'll come to realize that the love you have for certain friends will fade, and that's ok. People tend to equate love to how much you endure or stick out with someone because you have "history" with that person or because "you've been through a lot". As Nina Simone once said: "you have to learn to leave the table when love is no longer being served".
I'm not going to lie, I've been through experiences like that in my teenage years. However, it was once I came to university that I realized it was alright to outgrow certain people because at the end of the day, what's best for me is what matters the most.
And then on the other hand, you have the strong friendships which are characterized by mutual respect, support, and trust, amongst other things. Hold on tight to these type of people; it's rare to find gems like that. Great friendships will contribute to your personal growth and happiness. It's so important to find people who are always there for you, through the good times and bad times as well.
Self-love:
Out of every type of love, I think this is the most important. Self-love signifies giving love, care, and attention to ourselves. I really think this is one of the best ways to experience happiness. Because, at the end of the day, you can't rely on other people to make you happy. The first person to love before anyone else is yourself. This will set the foundation for your other relationships, whether they be for a family member, friend or significant partner. Think about it this way: you can't properly give to someone what you don't have and vice-versa. Admittedly, this is one of the hardest loves to practice because it really has to do with affirming who you really are and being at ease with that.
Love
Like I said at the beginning of this post, the definition of love is different for everybody. When I think of love, I think of care, unconditionality, affection, happiness. I also find that the emotion usually motivates or inspires you to be the best you can be for yourself and your significant other. I don't know, it's really one of those abstract things you can't really describe but rather feel(ok cliché I know).
In relation to this post, I will say this: I love Toronto's diverse streets, fashion, and taking pictures.
This look was actually inspired by a photo I saw on Tumblr a while ago. I didn't want to copy the exact outfit so I decided to make a debut with...flare pants! Honestly, I think the last time I wore this type of style was about the age of 9. I hated them before but for some reason, this is no longer the case.
Also, overtime, I've come to realize that doing photoshoots has helped boost my confidence. Honestly haha, there was a time when I wouldn't dare pose in front of lots of people occasionally gazing at me, but I guess the creation of the blog helped with that. It's allowed me to express myself by incorporating creative direction, art and style. A few days before a shoot, I grab my notebook and write down the looks, locations and props I want to use with my poses. Of course, sometimes I switch things up a bit, like here, when I decided to pose on a pole(let's just call it that, for lack of a better word).
I also wanted to play around with the backdrops around me:
The last few shots are my favorite because of how crisp the contrast between my outfit and the bright colors in the background are. It's always lovely shooting in Toronto!
Thank you for reading! Wishing you and your loved ones a beautiful day.
With love,
Penda
Outfit details:
Turtleneck & pants: Zara
Coat: ASOS
Bag: Chanel
Get the look!
Turtleneck:
http://www.zara.com/ca/en/woman/t-shirts/view-all/ribbed-funnel-neck-top-c719014p4208616.html
Pants:
http://www.zara.com/ca/en/woman/trousers/high-rise-flared-trousers-c358005p4333550.html
Coat:
http://www.asos.com/neon-rose/neon-rose-relaxed-tuxedo-duster-coat/prd/6944818?iid=6944818&clr=Black&SearchQuery=black%20duster%20coat&pgesize=21&pge=0&totalstyles=21&gridsize=3&gridrow=2&gridcolumn=3
Connect with me:
Instagram: @pendasarr
Snapchat: @pendouchi
